bitching

how is it only wednesday? this week has been dragging by and there has been very little about it thus far that i have hoped to prolong any moment more than what i have already had to deal with.

monday was just one of those days where nothing really went right. blah is the all around good word to sum it up. rather than being a fully productive and "get shit done" kinda day, it turned into a day filled with procrastination (i know, i can only blame myself for that one) and a day filled with activities and general attitudes that repel one another like the wrong side of magnets.

tuesday promised to act in a much more friendly manner until i was sitting at the kitchen table yesterday morning drinking coffee, when e found a flea. yep. that's right. our life-long indoor cats, whom we love probably more than normal people would (we take real songs and alter them to fit our cats - don't know if that is something to admit via interwebs) have fleas. how the hell did they get them? we have no idea. one friend suggested that maybe the eggs were lying dormant in the floor from before we moved in. however, this cannot be the case seeing as we have brand new carpet. and we have been here for almost 6 months now so if they were going to hatch, it would have happened sooner. another friend suggested we use tomato soup. i don't know if he meant use it to bathe them, but he then realized he was talking about skunks. regardless, we have ceased the massive amount of cuddling that usually takes place in our household, made a trip to petsmart, vacuumed the whole house, shut off parts of the house, delivered the first bath of medicine, etc etc. i feel horrible. they feel horrible. e feels horrible. we are bad parents. i am acting as if my newborn child fell from it's crib. or at least that is how it feels. the fact that i am not going to have children only reinforces my notions of overbearing love on my feline children.

and now it is wednesday morning. the 90% chance of rain just started this very instant and i feel like the weather is acting in accordance to my mood.

so i need to snap out it. like, now. but first i felt that i had to get this out of my head and onto someone else other than e. since his childhood kitty had fleas when he was in fifth grade, i have been bombarding him with questions. something along the lines of "will we ever be able to hold them again?" and "do you think they know we still love them?"
sigh...
don't worry, i do feel as pathetic as i should.

i'm going to go get more coffee.